Parenting from the heart.

There’s no denying the the Duggars are a big family. I don’t know how she does it. Every episode I’ve seen she seems calm, cool and collected. Surrounded by her children she appears joyful and happy. I’ve never seen her lose her cool.

And here I am with my two on occasion a blubbering mess crying “I can’t do it.”

Wow. She must be some sort of a super woman!

So why all the negativity?

Michele and her family have recently announced they are expecting their 20th child. I personally am excited for them. Another baby! How wonderful!

But I’ve seen them called selfish, crazy, and extremists. Apparently they’re having another ‘for the fame,’ ‘for TV,’ and they need their heads read.

Okay so you don’t agree, so 20 children isn’t your family plan, so you don’t believe in leaving your family plan in God’s hands. So you think another pregnancy is inherently risky. Everyone is entitled to an opinion.

But since when does having a reality show give the general public a license to be mean. Mean is mean. Keep in mind that we’re taking about children, all 20 of them. And think about how you would like your children to be spoken about and written about.

Now we’re all entitled to an opinion, but remember how would you like to be spoken about.

If I were to fall pregnant tomorrow, I’d expect my family and friends to worry for my health and they’d probably ask about it after all I had placenta previa, 8 weeks bed rest, a premature baby and a NICU stay. I’d expect them to question my decision and I’d expect them to worry and some of them to disagree with my choice. However I would be outraged if any of them were calling me crazy, selfish, saying I need my head read, saying I collect children like crazy ladies collect cats etc.

I admire Michele Duggars commitment to God, I myself am still working out what I believe and who God is and though I don’t believe everything the Duggars do (dancing saves my sanity and creates a diversion for a tantruming toddler ;) ) I admire the strength of their convictions.

I can’t ever imagine what life with 20 children would be like but I respect their right to build their family the way they want to. After all, isn’t that what we all want, choice? To fight for choices for women is to fight even for those choices we don’t agree with. The Duggars have the right to a big family as much as I have the right to a small one.

I’ve heard some call for the Duggars to be forcibly sterilized. No, no, no. How anyone could condone a governments right to dictate how many children one should or shouldn’t have is beyond me.

I’ve heard some say how having that many children is unnatural. It wasn’t that long ago that big families were the norm.

Love them, hate them, feel indifferent towards them, remember you are talking about real people. And while they don’t use the Internet, their children might when they up and leave home and how would you feel if you googled your own name (come on who hasn’t) and rant after rant about how horrid your parents are was all that came up in your search results.

Congratulations to the Duggars. May your pregnancy be joyful and complication free, your birth be boringly normal and problem free (and empowering, amazing and beautiful) and your family be blessed with a sweet new babe.

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Comments on: "The Duggars – big family loud critics" (1)

  1. I am always so amazed and impressed by the Duggars. It seems to me that they must be doing a pretty stellar job because all their children appear well adjusted and happy. If we judge parents by their children. I admire their commitment to their faith and values. They seem to practice what they preach and they don’t appear to be pushing their beliefs on anybody else. I really don’t know why people get so riled up about the Duggars. Seems to me that the world needs more happy, well adjusted people.

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