I remember when my daughter, my first, was a baby. Before she was born I planned out a beautiful nursery for her and I remember fondly the day we set up the bassinet at the foot of our bed.
She was born, happiest day of my life, and for that first sleepy week was content to sleep wherever she was and I naively thought that was it.
And then she woke up, reflux took hold and for four months she slept on my chest. Then she moved to a cot in our room for a while and then into the nursery.
She’ll be 3 in just over a week, I’m busy planning a party while parenting solo. The other morning she woke up early and climbed into bed with me. She fell asleep and I woke up to her drooling on my shoulder. It was very sweet.
Despite having coslept as a baby she transitioned to her own sleep space without issue. She sleeps all night every night unless she is unwell, even then she can be comforted in her own bed.
Clearly if you cosleep your baby will be in your bed forever.
I coslept with my son from the moment NICU gave my son to me to parent overnight.
That’s right, I coslept with my preterm son. How negligent of me.
Funny though when he was sleeping alone he wasn’t gaining weight or able to keep his body temp up but one night of constant boob and skin to skin and his weight started going up and his temp stabilized.
He stayed in our bed until he was 8 months, then he went into a cot. He’s 18 months and comes into bed for boob and cuddles sometime between 1-4am each morning. But that’s cool with me, we cuddle, we snooze, he’s happy!
The truth is that safe cosleeping is safe.
That is on a firm mattress with no fluffy pillows, no thick doonas, no smoking, no alcohol, no illegal drugs, no perscription medication, no gaps that baby can roll or fall into, no couch/bean bag/futon.
Basically what is safe for cot sleeping is safe for cosleeping, pretty simple.
Now cosleeping mothers are more in tune with their babies if they breastfeed. It really doesn’t work the same if you bottle feed. Bottle fed babies shouldn’t be in the adult bed, they should however be in the same room.
Cosleeping is normal for humans.
What do you think we did before cots? How do you think the species survived?
It is tragic that four babies have died. But I feel like the coroner is not giving us the full story. Where was the cosleeping taking place? What was the feeding method? What was the mother on, drink/drugs etc.
Because safe cosleeping is safe and unsafe sleep anywhere is unsafe. Let’s not forget that while half of SIDS deaths happen while cosleeping the other half happen while the baby is sleeping alone and no one is suggesting banning cot sleeping.
Let’s get real. Stop the fear campaign and promote safe cosleeping and educate families to make safe choices.
PS – now that the babies are toddlers I cosleep with the dog, which I quite like, he sleeps at the foot of the bed and warms my feet.