She’s growing up!

We went to a playcentre yesterday and my almost 3 year old had the time of her life!

She thought the toddler area was okay but wasn’t really having fun until she took to the “big girl” area.

It scared the life out of me!

There was my baby running up huge stairs, bouncing down the longest slides, running over bridges, mixing with the big kids and having the time of her life!

She looked so tiny to me, sometimes all I could see was this little blonde head above the obstacles.

She enjoyed a ride on the teacups laughing her head off with some new found friends.

She came to me for lunch but was quickly off as soon as she was finished.

She will be 3 in a week.  3!!!

At times it seems so surreal, she is growing up, getting bigger, doing more for herself and helping others.

I have to remind myself not to underestimate her abilities and to let her explore and discover things for herself.

It’s amazing just how much she has changed in the last 12 months.  Compared to this time last year she is so grown up.  She has so many more words and can form sentances, something I worried about immensely.  She can run, jump, skip and climb.  She can count.  She sings.  She uses the toilet independently.  She makes jokes.  She is loving, caring and sweet.  She loves her family and loves her dog.

It’s been a wonderful year.

1 week until my baby turns 3.

Big things ahead

I’m giving myself a huge hi-five this morning.

1. I made it through yesterday with no tears. I felt sad, I felt shitty, I felt drawn out and tired. But I didn’t let it completely overwhelm me.

2. WE MADE IT TO 1 YEAR BREASTFEEDING! Go us! In Australia less then 14% of babies are breastfed past 6 months and the figure for babies who ‘graduated’ from NICU still breastfeeding at 1 year old is less then 5%. So once again my boy and I have beat the odds.

3. I’ve made some big life decisions of late and I’m looking forward to following through on my plans.

Starting in March I’ll be studying a Cert IV/Diploma in Remedial Massage.

It’s the first step on my way to educate myself in natural therapies so eventually I can provide a range of wellness services including massage, naturopathy, and quite possibly birth work and breastfeeding counseling.

Because I believe that mothers, babies and their families in so many cases can solve many ‘issues’ with a loving hand and some natural therapies. Like massage.

And who wouldn’t love a doula who is skilled in massage? Or masseuse who can come to you to teach baby massage, and also offer some advice as a naturopath as well?

It’s going to take a while to get ‘qualified’ but when I start my first course in March I’ll be on my way.

The other benefit is that I will work for myself, and be my own boss, which means I can put my family and their needs first. When my kids need me I don’t need to go begging for the day off, I just need to organize it.

I suspect I am going to be busy, but I know it will be well worth it.

Happy birthday baby!

I swear he will be called baby forever, even when he’s grown up with his own babies.

That’s my son a year ago.

Now he’s a healthy 1 year old, beautiful and happy.

I’m flat out with birthday celebrations today. But I will say it’s bittersweet. While there it is a happy occasion it is also the anniversary of my birth trauma.

I said to DH earlier if I got piss blind drunk I’d STILL probably remember more of what I remember of 24/1/11.

It’s not as bad as I expected. I have gone for a run and DS is having a big morning nap. But a sort of heavy feeling seems to be hanging over me today.

On DDs birthday I take great delight in remembering what I was doing at the time on that day, oh I was contracting, moving to the shower, about to push, birthday minute kiss (I’m a dag and I know it) and then we were cuddling, went to our room etc.

With DS I remember being put under, briefly meeting, and then waiting to go and see him. And I remember the sadness. Hearing the other newborns cry while I sat in my room, surrounded by people but so bitterly alone.

I think I’ll really celebrate on the 31st, that’s the anniversary of his graduation from NICU and the day we went home.