Comforting with milk

My son is 10 months old, he is very mobile. Crawling, pulling himself up, cruising the furniture… Bumping heads, falling over, getting into things…

So yesterday afternoon he slipped over holding onto the coffee table and smacked his chin.

I scooped him up, checked for blood, no blood so onto the boob. A few sucks and he pulled off and spat out a whole cashew (where did you get that child?) and then re-latched. Quick feed and happy as Larry.

Screaming to serene in seconds, thanks boobies

Breastfeeding Nazis

What is a Nazi? According to the Collin’s dictionary -

Nazi [ˈnɑːtsɪ]

n pl Nazis

1. (Historical Terms) a member of the fascist National Socialist German Workers’ Party, which was founded in 1919 and seized political control in Germany in 1933 under the Austrian-born German dictator Adolf Hitler (1889-1945)

2. Derogatory anyone who thinks or acts like a Nazi, esp showing racism, brutality, etc.

Need a picture?

These blokes are Nazis.

Here’s the head Nazi.

These zombies are Nazis.

Unfortunately, despite knowing nothing, this guy is also a Nazi.

Notice how none of them are lactating women?

You see Nazism is all about German superiority and the racist ideal that caucasian males are the superior race. Nothing to do with breastfeeding. Period.

Listen up, calling someone a Nazi for being passionate about infant feeding is ridiculous. The word Nazi has Only negative connotations, and can cause what use to be a civilized discussion to turn sour.

If you’re offended by what someone has written online… Close the window. If you are offended by what someone has said to you personally, explain it to them!

And stating well researched and documented facts about breastfeeding is not a personal attack. Breastmilk is superior to formula, formula is not just as good. That’s not nazism, it’s science.

I am not a Nazi for thinking breastfeeding is tops and that mothers should be informed in their choices. I’m not plotting an invasion of Poland while nursing my baby.

Call a Nazi a Nazi, call a pushy mum pushy. Tell them they’ve gone too far. Tell them you’re offended.

Is he getting enough?

Often mothers worry about their milk supply.  Occassionally I hear about a mother with too much but more often then not it’s mum’s with too little.

First things first, always keep the following in mind.

Call your doctor, midwife and/or lactation consultant if:

• Baby is having no wet or dirty diapers
• Baby has dark colored urine after day 3
  (should be pale yellow to clear)
• Baby has dark colored stools after day 4
  (should be mustard yellow, with no meconium)
• Baby has fewer wet/soiled diapers or nurses less
  frequently than the goals listed here
• Mom has symptoms of mastitis
  (sore breast with fever, chills, flu-like aching)

Right, now milk supply.  Truth is an overwhelming percentage of mothers DO have enough milk, but outside influences are hindering this.  Schedule feeding, for example, is the enemy of supply.  Unhindered access to the breast is key to keeping up a good supply.  Now some days babies feed more then others, this is NOT an indicator of low milk supply.  Babies feed for a hosr of different reasons, comfort, pain relief, nutrition, thirst.  When wondering why baby is feeding so much today ask yourself the following question, do you limit your own access to food or water?  Of course not!  Some babies just cannot wait until lunch time for lunch.

Are you eating enough?  Your body will not starve itself to make milk.  So feed yourself.  You need fuel to keep your car going, you need nutrition to keep that milk flowing!

Drink plenty of water, dehydration will hinder milk supply.

Remember it can take up to a week OR LONGER for your milk to fully come in.  Colostrum will sustain your baby, so put your baby to the breast often to stimulate milk supply.  Weight loss is normal in newborns.  It’s not a reason to switch to formula feeding.

Forget the scales, unless you’re weighing at the same time every day on the same scales then the measurement will not be accurate.  Instead look at babies overall health.  Colour, muscle tone, does the skin bounce back, wet nappies, dirty nappies.  Weight is an indicator of baby health, but doesn’t always give the whole picture.

Babies are often fussy in the early evenings and often cluster feed at this time, doesn’t mean you have no milk, it just means your baby is normal.  I like to think of this period as tanking up for the longer periods of sleep at night.

At http://www.kellymom.com they list some potential causes of low milk supply -

• Supplementing. Nursing is a supply & demand process. Milk is produced as your baby nurses, and the amount that she nurses lets your body know how much milk is required. Every bottle (of formula, juice or water) that your baby gets means that your body gets the signal to produce that much less milk.
• Nipple confusion. A bottle requires a different type of sucking than nursing, and it is easier for your baby to extract milk from a bottle. As a result, giving a bottle can either cause your baby to have problems sucking properly at the breast, or can result in baby preferring the constant faster flow of the bottle.
• Pacifiers. Pacifiers can cause nipple confusion. They can also significantly reduce the amount of time your baby spends at the breast, which may cause your milk supply to drop.
• Nipple shields can lead to nipple confusion. They can also reduce the stimulation to your nipple or interfere with milk transfer, which can interfere with the supply-demand cycle.
• Scheduled feedings interfere with the supply & demand cycle of milk production and can lead to a reduced supply, sometimes several months later rather than immediately. Nurse your baby whenever she is hungry.
• Sleepy baby. For the first few weeks, some babies are very sleepy and only demand to nurse infrequently and for short periods. Until baby wakes up and begins to demand regular nursing, nurse baby at least every two hours during the day and at least every 4 hours at night to establish your milk supply.
• Cutting short the length of nursings. Stopping a feeding before your baby ends the feeding herself can interfere with the supply-demand cycle. Also, your milkincreases in fat content later into a feeding, which helps baby gain weight and last longer between feedings.
• Offering only one breast per feeding. This is fine if your milk supply is well-established and your baby is gaining weight well. If you’re trying to increase your milk supply, let baby finish the first side, then offer the second side.
• Health or anatomical problems with baby can prevent baby from removing milk adequately from the breast, thus decreasing milk supply.

If you do have a low supply, then what can you do?

1. Stop using bottles, pacifiers and formula.  Offer the breast often and make sure you’re feeding AT LEAST every 2 hours during the day and 4 hours at night.
2. Make sure you’re eating and drinking well.
3. See a lactation consultant.
4. Forget the housework and concentrate on feeding.  Take a nursing vacation for 2-3 days, take your baby to bed with you all day, all night, watch a DVD and just feed, feed, feed.
5. Switch sides while nursing every time it changes to comfort suck many times during the feed to keep stimulating the let down reflex and stimulate supply.
6. Eats oats, fenugreek, linseed, flaxseed, and brewer’s yeast.  Try these lactation cookies.
7. Consider pumping. Adding pumping sessions after or between nursing sessions can be very helpful – pumping is very important when baby is not nursing efficiently or frequently enough, and can speed things up in all situations. Your aim in pumping is to remove more milk from the breasts and/or to increase frequency of breast emptying. When pumping to increase milk supply, to ensure that the pump removes an optimum amount of milk from the breast, keep pumping for 2-5 minutes after the last drops of milk. However, adding even a short pumping session (increasing frequency but perhaps not removing milk thoroughly) is helpful.
8. Consider a galactagogue. A substance (herb, prescription medication, etc.) that increases milk supply is called a galactagogue.
9. Ask for motillium, a medication that can increase milk supply.
10. Ask your health care provider to test for hyperthyroidism, this can effect milk supply and cause depression.
11. Wear your baby and have lots of skin to skin.

If it doesn’t work and I truly don’t have enough milk for my baby…

Supplement with a supply line or supplemental nursing system.

Even some breastmilk is better then none at all.

Donor breastmilk is favourable over formula.

If you are struggling to find a donor try - www.hm4hb.net/

Breast to bottle – confusing?

Let’s begin by saying that every baby is different and some babies can switch between breast and bottle with no confusion what so ever.  However it is important to note that this is not the case for many babies, and switching from breast to bottle and back again, or mix feeding can lead to nipple confusion and can complicate an otherwise simple breastfeeding relationship.

Babies use a sucking motion while breastfeeding that is unique and totally different from the sucking motion used when bottle feeding.  Problems occur when babies take the lessons learned on the bottle and apply it to the breast.  So what happens when a baby is given a bottle soon after birth and then attempts to breastfeed?

On the Dr Sears website he says,

• Babies who get bottles soon after birth may thrust their tongue upward during sucking and push the breast nipple out of their mouth.
• They don’t open their mouths wide enough when latching-on, so they suck only the tip of the nipple. They don’t get enough milk, and mother’s nipples get sore.
• Baby becomes accustomed to the immediate flow of milk that comes from the bottle; at the breast, babies have to suck for a minute or two to stimulate mother’s milk ejection reflex and get the milk flowing.

So how do you avoid nipple confusion?

Avoid using bottle and pacifiers.  If baby needs a top up this can be given with a syringe, via a cup or a supply line.

If you’re worried about babies ability to take a bottle later on when you’re returning to work, there are steps to get baby to take a bottle including have a partner or friend give the feed.  Introducing a bottle early so that he’ll take it later is a risk.

If you believe your baby is dealing with nipple confusion, you can find steps to rectify that here.

There are lots of dodgy reasons given to mothers as to why they should give their baby a top up.  Remember it is normal for newborns to feed almost constantly, especially before your milk comes in.  Colostrum is a perfect food for a brand new baby and should not need supplementing with artificial baby milk.  Feeding often will stimulate your hormones to produce more milk.  Think of it this way – feeding frequently today is placing an order for a bigger milk supply tomorrow.

Comfort feeding is totally okay, and normal.  It’s not a reason to introduce a dummy.  Dummies won’t make baby sleep better, won’t be long and you’ll be up over and over replacing the damn thing.

In short, leave introducing bottles and dummies for as long as possible to avoid nipple confusion, and feed on demand to avoid needing them.

Got milk?

The last taboo surrounding breastfeeding it would seem is milk sharing. That is feeding the milk of another mother either via wet nursing or expressed, to your baby.

Because there’s formula for that.

Yup, it’s your milk or the milk of another species. Another woman’s milk would just be icky.

Are we serious?! The milk of another species is favorable over human milk?

NICU’s won’t allow it, health authorities warn against it and other mums look at you funny if you dare mention it. Wet nursing may appear to be going the way of the dodo.

This is all despite the World Health Organisation stating that another mothers milk is preferable to formula.

So what are mothers to do? Human Milk 4 Human Babies – http://www.hm4hb.net/ – is an organization empowering women to make their own choices for their babies. HM4HB’s believe that babies have a right to breastmilk and is linking mothers with donors across the world.

From mothers with premature babies, to mothers with multiples, to mothers with insufficient breast tissue, to mothers needing medical treatment incompatible with breastfeeding. Mothers needing one off donations and mothers needing long term supplies.

Mothers are sharing.

Mothers with oversupplies are sharing, mothers with excess milk they have pumped and no longer need are sharing, mothers who have tragically lost their babies are sharing their precious gift of milk.

It is world milk sharing week, and women all over the world are sharing the precious gift of milk they are giving to their children and the children who desperately need it.

After all, isn’t formula just donor milk, but from cows? Goats? Soy beans?

If he can ask for it, he’s too old for it

ADMIN NOTICE – I get comments on here that really add to the discussion, some agreeing with me and some disagreeing. But some I get are downright nasty and insulting. I’m up for discussion but I’m not up for the personal attacks or the insults. Watch it or it won’t be published.

Right now that I’ve got that out of the way.

Breastfeeding and following babies lead

We’ve probably all been told at some point or another that when baby can ask for it he’s too old for it. But I argue… He’s been asking for it all along.

From those first moments when baby is rooting at the breast, to when baby is old enough to pull at your top to when baby begins to cup the breast to bring it to his mouth, he’s asking for it.

This is cue-feeding, and most healthcare professionals advocate it’s benefits and most warn against scheduling feeds.

So what about when crying, grabbing, or rooting for the breast becomes “boobie please” and is this a cue to stop?

No.  Just because a baby becomes articulate doesn’t mean breastfeeding becomes creepy.

According to the WHO

Breastfeeding your toddler can provide:
31% of his daily energy needs,
38% of protein requirements,
45% of Vitamin A requirements, and
95% of Vitamin C needs.

What’s more they recommend breastfeeding until at least 2 years of age. They mention nothing of stopping when your toddler can say x, y, z.

The problem is that breasts are seen as predominantly sexual, when in fact they’re a multi function organ.  We use our mouths to talk, eat, kiss… why not breasts?

Babies have all sorts of needs, they rub their eyes when their tired, they reach their arms up when they want to be picked up, they scream when they’re scared and giggle when they approve.  Why not breastfeeding?  Why is it so taboo?

This weekend it’s been heating up very quickly (North Queensland in Australia) and DS has been breastfeeding frequently, to the point where if he has to wait the 30 seconds for me to unclip my nursing bra he sucks on my arm until I get a bruise, got the hint yet mum?

Does it bother me?  The bruises yes, the feeding, no.  I’m drinking more, so are my toddler and husband.  I’m letting DS set his own feeding schedule, he knows what he needs.

There’s one more point I’m going to make, and that’s bottlefed babies.  When my daughter was almost 1 and bottlefed, she was cue fed.  She would crawl over to where the microwave was, stand up, and hug it.

My girl isn’t no fool, she knew where her food came from and she knew how to get me to get it for her.  Should I have stopped because she was asking for it?  Should I have stopped because she was saying “ba ba ba” over and over, wanting a bottle?  Of course not, she was a baby wanting her milk.  But this is more socially acceptable then my boy, same age, pulling at my top and bobbing his head around.

Because there’s nothing sexual about bottle feeding.  And guess what, there’s nothing sexual about breast feeding either.

You shouldn’t stop breastfeeding because they can ask for it, you should stop breastfeeding when they stop needing it.

Here are some common myths about breastfeeding after one.

And the ABA has this to say about breastfeeding a toddler.

I am furious

EDIT – bubhub has removed the question and the answer from their website.  Very good news.

I am fuming.

This advice was given this morning on a well known Australian parenting forum.  By an expert.

The expert recommends restricting feeds, introducing more water and night weaning.

Well this is pretty straight forward but here goes.

Regarding the water, Dr Sears confirms that breastfed babies don’t require extra water.

Here is information supporting cue feeding.

Some stand out points -

- Baby-led breastfeeding is recommended by the WHO (world health org.) and LLL (la leche league)

- Demand feeding also promotes further bonding between mom and baby.

- Breastfeeding has been found to decrease stress in mom and baby, so the more you breastfeed the less stressful you will both be.

Everything I’ve ever been told by lactation consultants outside of NICU says cue feed, not schedule.

We’re heading into summer, these babies need fluids day and night, feed them.  Frequent nursing is so normal, feeding in a sling makes it easy.

And bubhub, I’m disappointed.  Your expert has given false information and it would seem you’ve got her  back.

For info on baby led weaning got to www.babyledweaning.com

Baby’s got rhythm

I remember in the breastfeeding class I took before I had my first baby, so a long time ago , the lactation consultant said that there is no way to know exactly how much breastmilk your baby is getting per feed but if you demand feed your breasts will produce the exact amount for your baby.

She didn’t tell me it could take up to 6 weeks for my supply to regulate and that feeding every hour on the hour is totally normal for some babies.  So when we saw a GP 2 weeks after my baby was born and said “she won’t stop screaming and she just feeds around the clock” he should have told me that it was normal, keep feeding, it will work itself out, right?

Well he didn’t.  He examined her and told me she needed formula.  So like the good girl I was back then, I weaned her completely and switched to crap in a can.  I wish I hadn’t listened but I did and I can’t change that.  However, that little girl was so loved and so nurtured, she has turned out just beautifully.

It was after I weaned her that it all became a numbers game.  How much formula, how many bottles a day, how long are they spaced out, making sure she had a full feed.  At 6 weeks she was diagnosed with silent reflux so then add .6ml of a Zantac twice a day.

Then someone gave me Save Our Sleep and I became obsessed with how often she slept and how long.  Tried that for one day, hated it.  Bought Sleeping Like a Baby by Pinky McKay and at 8 weeks, we started on our journey following attachment parenting.  Cloth nappies came, then an ergo, I learnt about BLW and DD got her first teeth at 5 months old.

Still everyone around me was obsessed with numbers, especially when it came to feeding.  How many bottles and how many little tubs of solids their babies were eating.  We would sit in cafes while my daughter picked off my plate surrounded by mums and babies with little tubs and spoons.  It was okay for them, it worked for them and their babies, but it wasn’t for me.

Perhaps I was a lazy mother, she ate when she wanted, drank when she wanted, slept when she wanted, played when she wanted, we cuddled when she wanted.  We ran on baby time.  And by the time she was about 8 months our day had a predictable rhythm to it.  It wasn’t something I did on purpose really, although Pinky McKay’s sleeping like a baby gave me the initial idea to follow her cues.  It was just how life went.

We went with the flow, she’d generally have a morning nap and I’d shower, dress, have a coffee, get ready for us to go out.  She would wake up and we’d go for a walk, or go to the park, or head to the shops.  Then we’d have lunch and she’d have a play while I did some housework, then she’d have an afternoon nap and I’d do any jobs that were difficult with her under foot.  Then she’d wake up in time to play in the kitchen while I prepared dinner.  DH would come home and play with her while I cooked, then dinner, bath, cuddle, bottle, bed.  It was predictable but fluid.  Sometimes naps didn’t happen, or were longer, or shorter.  Sometimes there were lots of bottles, sometimes very few.  It was relaxed and by the time she was heading towards her first birthday I felt like we had this down pat.  She dropped her morning nap, and that become quiet time instead, read some books, do some colouring, have a shower with mum.

We’d book our play dates for middle of the day, as she was pretty much guaranteed to be awake.

Life was smooth, our ‘routine’ was relaxed, and the clock on the wall barely got a look in.

So imagine the culture shock when my second son was born and we were thrown into the world of NICU.

In NICU everything is about numbers.  From timing feeds, timing the space in between feeds, calculating how much milk a baby is ‘getting,’ measuring top ups, weighing everything from the baby before and after feeds to weighing wet nappies to see the exact out put.  Everything was timed, scheduled and measured.  To me, the relaxed mum who did as her baby pleased, it was total culture shock.

I remember setting alarms for feeding times thinking back to that one day we tried Tizzie Hall’s method and how it didn’t work for me or my baby.  I remember feeling like a fish out of water.  Exposed, vulnerable and confused.

The pumped my baby full of fluid, he was using a lot of energy to maintain his temperature in that air conditioned nursery.  He lost weight, they gave him tiny top ups of fluid.  The lactation consultant was useless, she had calculated how much milk he would ‘need’ (based on what I don’t know) and insisted he needed four hourly feeds.  Again, what this was based on I never know.  I was told demand feeding used too much energy and was difficult to measure their progress.

Demand feeding was in reality inconvenient for them.  Having to ring me every single time he cried.  Too difficult.  They wanted to give him a dummy to space out his feeds.  But I was well aware of the dangers of nipple confusion.  The looks I got when I refused sucrose for him during the heel prick test and insisted on breastfeeding him instead.  It would throw off the whole routine.

But getting him demand feeding, who in the long run would it be an ‘inconvenience’ for?  Surely none of the nurses were coming home with us.  In the end the first night I got him to myself (we roomed in the night before he was discharged) I co-slept and demand fed him.  His temperature was fine.  He didn’t hang off my boob all night.  And I forgot about the numbers.

I brought him home and we’ve demand fed ever since, and his weight has shot up.  He’s never gone 4 hours without a breastfeed (well not during the day anyway) but we’re both happy feeding as often as he wants.  I haven’t been as obsessed with his sleep, but then again when you’re sleep deprived everyone crunches the numbers every now and again.

And as we head towards 8 months I’m noticing a pattern in his sleep that has formed, he likes an early bedtime and often conks out on the boob at 6.15pm and then sleeps deeply for hours and hours.

I believe in making a pattern not a routine.  Babies like to know what’s coming next but a set routine locks you down and stresses you out when you deviate from it.  A routine can be more stress then what it’s worth.

Bottle feeders are mothers too

Here is a baby, she’s only 6 weeks old and she’s being fed formula by her father.

Here is another baby about the same age, being breastfed.

Who’s the better mother?

Well there’s no contest, they’re brother and sister.

And they’re my children.

With my first I didn’t know the truth about breastfeeding.  A doctor told me formula was best for reflux babies and I believed him.  When I was pregnant with my second I educated myself about breastfeeding.

And when I knew better, I did better.

But I wasn’t a bad mum with my first, I was a great mum.  Every bottle was given holding her close (except one or two in the car to stop her screaming in Sydney traffic) every decision made with love.

I’m grateful to those who educated me about breastfeeding without slamming me for formula feeding.  There were many who were unnecessarily cruel.

Bottle feeding mums love their babies too.

But an anti-breastfeeding culture is killing breastfeeding relationships.

There needs to be balance.

It’s just a boob, so get over it!

Breastfeeding in public shouldn’t be a big issue, it shouldn’t be a big deal. But it is. Let me clear up a few issues.

Breastfeeding is not dirty!. It’s not the same as urination, defication, masterbation, or sexual intercourse. Breastfeeding my son in a restaurant is not the same as a man and his wife making love in said restaurant. Yes they are all natural and normal, however breastfeeding means nothing more then feeding a child. It has nothing to do with ridding the body of a waste product or engaging in an adult act. Breastfeeding is mentioned in both the bible and the Koran. Breasts are designed to feed babies, that is what they were created for.

There is nothing to see! Covering up with a wrap or a specially designed breastfeeding cover just draws more attention to the fact that you have a bare boob under there. If someone is staring directly at you as you begin feeding they may, shock horror, catch a slight glimpse of a nipple. Chances are though that they won’t see anything. You see more boob in Zoo or on a woman wearing a bikini. If someone is offended, tell them to put a blanket over their head.

Breastfeeding is you and your babies legal right and don’t be afraid to say so. Its illegal for someone to tell you to cover up, leave the establishment or to refuse you device on the basis that you are breastfeeding. And if you aren’t satisfied with the response when you make them aware that breastfeeding is your legal right, you can always arrange a nurse in.

Breastfeeding is recommended until at least the 2nd year, and the longer the better. Did you know the average age for weaning globally is just over 4 years? Yet how many 4 year olds do you know breastfeeding? How many 3 year olds? How many 2 year olds? The rate of babies still breastfeeding at just 6 months old is somewhere around 14% according to this report. So just because feeding an ‘older’ baby isn’t the norm, it doesn’t mean it’s wrong, or dirty, or abusive. Nor should it be hidden away.

Just because formula exists doesn’t mean I have to use it. Nor does it mean it’s best for babies or that it’s safe. And I’m not going to express so I can bottle feed my babe because a stranger might feel uncomfortable. It’s my choice to breastfeed as much as its your choice to be offended.

You don’t have to look I don’t have a brass band or a parade announcing that my son is about to feed. I don’t loudly announcing that I’m unclipping my nursing bra. I don’t have a sign, a flare or a fireworks display. This is not for your entertainment. Of all the women getting their breasts out to feed, 0% are doing it as a come on to all the men in the room, 0% are doing it to piss you off, and 0% are doing it to make sure all the prudes are offended and uncomfortable. 100% are doing it to make sure their babies get the milk they need.

Finally, breastfeeding is not about you. I’m sorry breastfeeding didn’t work out for you, but publicly feeding my son is not about rubbing it in your face. I’m sorry you’ve got body issues, but my son cannot wait and needs feeding now. I’m sorry you’re uncomfortable, but I have no reason to leave.

Breastfeeding is normal, natural and my legal right.

If you want help with breastfeeding call 1800 mum2mum