This parenting gig is hard work. Especially when I’m sick, and the toddlers sick, and the baby is sick, and the baby is cutting a tooth… There is a mountain of washing that needs to be folded that comes up to my waist, the floors could do with a mop, I smell faintly of baby spew and I can’t see myself leaving the house at all today.
But even when all the ducks ARE in a row, parenting isn’t always easy. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels that sometimes you’re just guessing. Is it wind? Does he need a top up? Is he teething? Is he even really tired?
So we rock and we pat and we sing and we sway and we feed and we go on and on. And sometimes it’s just too much and it’s time to hand the baby over and walk away.
I did. Last night. I’d had enough. He was screaming so loud my ears were ringing, you know how when your ears are blocked and you hear a loud sound and it sounds tinny? He was so tired and I think he is cutting a tooth, but I was not in the right frame of mind, I handed him to his father and walked outside ringing my mother in a flood of tears.
5 minutes later I walked back in, he was still crying though he had calmed down somewhat in my husbands arms. I took him back and he settled and fell asleep shortly afterwards.
And then I had a beer.
Sometimes all our attempts to be peaceful, calm, loving parents don’t work out. And in those moments we go into survival mode.
Sometimes you just have to put the baby down, especially if you feel like you’re not coping or if you feel like yelling at, or worse yet hurting your child. Just walk away, 5 minutes. Come back fresh and in a better head space.
The nights of endless rocking are becoming less frequent, although now we have the new problem of baby getting heavy, but we will figure it out.
I apologize for not posting yesterday, we’ve been quite sick. Expect to see me back to my usual self this week.