The No-Cry Sleep Solution -Success!

I love Elizabeth Pantley.

Truly, I do.

I had been breastfeeding my son to sleep every nap and every bedtime since day dot. Which was fine. Until it stopped working. And then he was up multiple times a night and waking ridiculously early.

At first I thought Wonder Week, and granted the WW did make things more difficult. But in reality the real issue was what had worked in the past was no longer working and as he became more aware of the world he needed to learn to fall asleep on his own so he could stay asleep without me.

Everything seemed to tell me either suck it up or cry it out. There had to be a way that was respectful to DS, fitted our attachment parenting principles and would help us work through our sleeping issues.

Now I’ve had The No-Cry Sleep Solution for a while and I had half-heartedly applied the principles every now and again but I was never committed. He was content breastfeeding to sleep, he would sleep long stretches and there was no need for big changes.

Until it all changed.

Fact is no one can run on minimal sleep forever. It doesn’t work. Feeling tired and cranky and being frustrated and angry fits about as well with my parenting philosophy as controlled crying does.

So at 4am one morning I picked the book up off the shelf and wrote in pen, that’s how serious I was , our plan. I wrote the nightly routine, the ways if encourage naps, our sleepy words (“good night Sam”), and I committed to the Pantley pull off plan.

It took a good 8 weeks. We moved onto the next phase of the plan once we were both comfortable and confident with the last one. There was no rushing through it. It was one step at a time.

And there have been bumps in the road, teeth have come through, hot sticky Townsville nights, and holidays with family including a virus that just threw a big spanner in the works, not to mention WWs which always slow any progress. But progress we have made and I can now saw at tired signs I scoop him up, lots of cuddles, fresh nappy, more cuddles, into bed with lullaby puppy switched on to cut out the noisy toddler, good night Sam and off to bed.

It has worked! Up once overnight and settles quickly and waking at a reasonable hour each morning.

To those who are using the No-Cry Sleep Solution it is well worth sticking with it. You may be a week or so in and thinking that you’re getting no where fast and it’s not worth all this effort. It’s not as instant as controlled crying methods because it goes at the babies pace. It follows her lead and only moves to the next step when she’s ready. It’s all about making small changes gradually. And without the guilt.

Throughout the whole process I never worried that I was pushing him too far or too fast because he set the pace. If he wasn’t ready to be settled out of my arms yet, then we didn’t. Simple as that.

If you’re ready to make changes and want to change your baby’s sleep habits in a way that is respectful to the needs of both of you. Then check the book out.

I’ll be reading the No-Cry Discipline Solution soon .

No-Cry Sleep Solutions

We all want a good nights sleep, we all want to wake up feeling refreshed and recharged, we all want to know why everyone else’s baby is ‘finally’ sleeping through – and ours is apparently broken because she still wakes four hourly for feeds.

Many so-called sleep solutions will offer a one sized fits all approach, by x months your child will have x sleeps at blah o’clock and blah o’clock and will feed at a b and c and will not need feeding overnight.

If someone is giving you timings for sleep. feeds or bedtime without first meeting you or your child, disregard the advice.  How can they know what’s best for a baby without even laying eyes upon him?

I personally like the No-Cry Sleep Solution and Pinky McKay’s books.  Great advice, a good range of suggestions, without guilting the mother into thinking she has ‘created’ sleep problems and without forcing a routine or a set settling technique.

In The No-Cry Sleep Solution, the mother is encouraged to pick from a wide range of settling options and to use only what she feels will work for her child.  There is a HUGE range of settling suggestions, for newborns right through to toddlers dealing with a range of sleeping issues from waking frequently to needing a dummy to fall asleep.  Mum and dad write a sleeping plan and set realistic goals and track their progress every 10 days.  Elizabeth Pantley is onto a good thing, and I often hear success stories using her gentle and baby friendly methods.

Pinky McKay – I could sing her praises all day long!  I bought 100 Ways To Calm the Crying when my first was very young and since then have often referred to it when I feel I’m losing my mummy zen.  It’s a bit dog eared and worn now, but after two children who both have at times difficulty sleeping, I’m not surprised.  I’ve also got Sleeping like a Baby and Parenting by Heart, both are excellent books.  I recommend Pinky McKay to any mum who needs a little help.  Pinky McKay outlines what is normal sleep for babies and children and offers practical gentle techniques to help a baby settle and sleep.

Both methods recommend a before bed ritual and to follow it relatively the same each night, which I personally believe is key to gentle settling for sleep.  Babies love to know what’s coming next and winding down for the day really helps baby off to sleep.

At my house we have dinner, then a bath or shower, then a massage, then a cuddle for the toddler and a breastfeed for the baby, and then into bed.  Too easy.

Pinky McKay details what tired cues are.  I think it is essential in the first weeks and months of a babies life to really watch them and learn their cues.  What does she do when she’s tired?  Does she make jerky movements?  Do her eyes go red around the edges?  Does she begin to make hacking cries?  Does she root around for the breast with less vigour then say if she were looking for a feed after a sleep?  Learn the cues and you’ll be able to get baby settling for a sleep BEFORE the crying that comes with over-tiredness.

One thing I truly believe is that children thrive on an early bedtime.  It prevents that overtired state and makes settling so much easier.  Last night after a flight from Townsville to Brisbane and then a car ride I was trying to get my toddler to sleep at… 11PM!  It eventually happened, but it was the hardest bedtime in a long time.

The most important thing to remember about settling and sleeping is that babies will sleep through in their own time.  My daughter slept through from 16 months.  For 16 months I got out of bed every single night to feed her.  By 8 months she was having her feed and falling asleep before I even got her back in bed.  My son slept through at 8 months.  But he’s always been a sleepier kid.  In no way do I think he’s ‘normal’ or that should be the ‘standard.’  No doubt he will wake again through wonder weeks and teething, and I’m prepared for more sleepless nights and night feeds.

Do not compare your baby to others in your mothers group or playgroup.  Remember that unfortunately some people feel the need to brag about their babies, and usually sleeping through the night is the first thing they bang on about.  Their baby sleeps, who cares.  Remember that frequent waking through the night is a good measure for preventing SIDS and I always found those night waking reassuring when they were very small.  Don’t forget those extra feeds regulate your milk supply and every breastfeed is a boost to babies immune system.

Here is the information on the No-Cry Sleep Solution, an A grade book in my opinion.

Here is Pinky McKay’s website, who in my opinion is the sleep guru.

And I want to leave you with one final thought, yes tonight you may be up once, twice, four times or more rocking, feeding and loving your baby to sleep.  Yes at times it may be frustrating and yes it may be hard.  But in the blink of an eye that babe will be a toddler, and a child, and a teenager and before you know it you’ll be wondering when they’re coming to visit next and missing those baby days that seemed oh so simple.  Love your babies, enjoy them, these days do not last.