You heard it here, right from the horses mouth, Attachment Parents are the best and all other styles of parenting are negligent.
That’s right if you don’t subscribe to the AP way then you may as well leave your children in the woods to be raised by wild animals because they would do a far superior job. If you bottle feed, sleep your baby in a cot, have a routine, feed your child puree, let them watch television before their 2nd birthday, send them to mainstream school or vaccinate you are truly a monster not worthy of being a mother.
DO YOU HEAR ME? You are awful! Your children will grow up to be detached emotionless criminals filling up our prisons and terrorizing our aging population.
I’m not serious. I don’t believe that. In fact many of the things listed I’ve done or plan to do in the future. But just think.
How many times has it been said that attachment parenting creates unhealthy connections between mothers and babies, or spoils children, destorys marriages, elevates children to the position of parent, doesn’t give children the discipline or routine they need, is permissive. Is wrong?
And that is seen as a normal critique of parental choices, yet on the flip side if you dare even think that a mother may not have her babies best interests at heart when she opens a copy of Tizzie Hall’s latest ‘book’ then you are JUDGING ME!
Let’s look at this seriously. It’s okay to call anyone who has had a birth plan a Birthzilla but if you question the author on her choice to sleep train her infants you are a hater. Truly, just ask about the Gift of Sleep in a less then complimentary fashion on Mia Freedman’s twitter, facebook or mamamia website, or the Gift of Sleep’s facebook and count the seconds before your comments are deleted and you are blocked. In fact comments on the blog posts about The Gift of Sleep on Mamamia are totally blocked. Apparently Mia Freedman is free to bash homebirthing women, anti-vaxxers, breastfeeding women and attachment parents but can’t take a hint of criticism herself.
And how many times have we been told that we’re creating a rod for our own back? That our babies will never be off the breast. That they will be in our bed FOREVER. That this is our future
And we should be very very afraid.
Honestly, I’m not concnerned, if DS is still wanting a boob when he’s a grown man it certainly won’t be mine he’s chasing.
But seriously, why is it okay to say negative and horrible things to women choosing the attachment method of parenting but when they even casually question a more mainstream approach it is seen as judgement. I have had nasty horrible things said to me especially regarding the apparent sexual nature of breastfeeding but when I simply stated “but isn’t a bottle just an imitation nipple” I was said to be mean, nasty, judging, it’s not my fault I couldn’t breastfeed, stop acting so superior.
All I’m asking is this. If you’re going to make broad sweeping statements about my parenting then be prepared to hear a few about yours. I’m not going to lie down and take false accusations of stunting my childs development, or underhanded comments about the future of my marriage with a smile and a nod. No way no how. No. I’m not that sort of woman.
Not when I have chosen my methods based on what is best for my child not always what is easiest or most convienent. I don’t subscribe to the “happy mum happy baby” line to justify every decision that may have negative consequences. I don’t believe this is a stage of my children’s life to simply be endured but a foundation for the rest of their lives. Emotional stability comes from having a strong framework to begin with.
If you find my way of parenting confronting or if it makes you uncomfortable well I don’t apologize because quite frankly how other people (other then my children and husband) feel about how I run my house does not matter to me. Yes I take into consideration the opinions of family, their opinions matter to me and I value them. Random other mother, hate to break it to you but I don’t care if you think that I ruined my baby by “letting” him sleep in my bed, you don’t want to know what I think of your choice to stop breastfeeding at 8 weeks so you could go party with your girlfriends and leave the baby with your husband as per usual.
Spite? Little bit. I’m tired of defending my choices to people who judge in one breath and claim judgement in another. We all judge, a lot. It’s how we make choices about what is best for us. Perhaps some people should take a look at what they’re about to say before they say it and ask themselves, am I adding to the conversation in a constructive way or am I pushing that person away with my ill-informed opinions?